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Monday, January 30, 2006;
halata bang nagu-update lang ako pag exteme yung emotions? pag sobrang happy, sobrang lungkot, yung ganun.. hehe.. basta.. go! ü

Woke up around a half past ten
Can’t believe that I’m late again
Put down about a quart of caffine
To start my pulse and thenI grabbed my jeans off the floor and I hit the door,
Just the same old same


It goes to show
You never know
When everything’s about to change


Just another day
Started out like any other
Just another girl who took my breath away
Then she turned around
She took me down
Just another day that I ....
Had the best day of my life


Can’t say exactly what it was
She’s not the usual type
She wore a cowboy hat
With her red Prada boots
And a Gwen Stefani smile
Then she pulled out a pen and surprised me when
She wrote her number on my hand
Then she was gone,
But from now onI’m gonna be a different man


Just another day
Started out like any other
Just another girl who took my breath away
Then she turned around
She took me downJust another day that I ...
Had the best day of my life


I guess it goes to show
You never really know
When everything’s about to change


Just another day
Started out like any other
Just another girl who took my breath away
Then she turned around
She took me down
Just another day that I ...
Had the best day of my life


puro 'she' pala.. palitan niyo na lang.. HE.. hehe.. =)

YES... >",<



moving on at
{{ 3:32 AM -


Wednesday, January 25, 2006;
balik suicidal effect ulit ang drama ko.. ang hirap pala ng ganito noh?


feeling ko tuloy ang stupid.. bakit ganun.. ang gulo-gulo.. hindi ko na talaga alam.. sa mga nangyayari pa ngayon.. arrgghh.. ewan..
ang sakit nung feeling na umasa ako, nagpaasa[YATA] at in the end, wala ring naging happy.. saklap noh? ganun yata talaga ang life.. tragic..
PWEDE NA BA MAGPAKAMATAY?
WALA NAMANG PIPIGIL SA AKIN DI BA? ='(


moving on at
{{ 6:03 AM -


Monday, January 23, 2006;
ito ay aking sinulat nang hindi na naman ako nakinig sa trigo kanina...

naramdaman kong nag-vibrate ang cellphone ko. "1 message received" daw. galing kay ray, inaantok na rin daw siya. sa kasamaang palad, hindi na ako naka-unli. tapos hindi pa ako nakakapagload. hindi tuloy ako nakasali sa text marathon ni karen, ray at ivra habang nagkaklase.

sobrang nakakafrustrate ang araw na 'to. umaga pa lang, na-sense ko na 'to. tama ba namang 6:00 ng umaga na ako nagising? usually, ganung oras ay paalis na kami ng bahay. na-late din kasi ng gising si mommy, delayed kami ng 1 hour. eh ayun, hinatid pa namin si mariel sa school. second time na na hindi ako umabot sa assembly. nakakaloka, pero at least hindi ako late.

di ko natapos yung portfolio ko sa filipino so hindi muna ako magpapasa. frustrating pa yung scores ko sa periodic tests. sa tle lang talaga ako natuwa.

ang dami ko pang dapat gawin pero bakit ito pa ang inuuna ko? next time na ulit ang flashback, dami nang nangyari since nasira ang computer.

meron palang nangyari na kung ordinaryong araw siguro ay matutuwa ako. twice pa yun huh. kaya lang sadyang bad trip effect yata ako. sana nga bad trip effect lang ako kaya hindi ko na-feel yung nangyari. ang stupid ko kasi. pinabayaan kong maging ganito ka-lala yung situation. akala ko masaya. akala ko okie na rin. eh hindi rin pala.

PWEDE NA BA MAGPAKAMATAY?

eng-eng, hindi pa. marami ka pang dapat gawin. sana matapos mo man lang yung portfolio na sinimulan mo. di bale kahit di ka umabot ng prom. wala ka namang date eh. [haru...]

o ayan yun. kaya hindi umaasenso yung trigo ko eh, di ako nakikinig. nood kayo ng only you! 2 weeks na lang. abangan niyo rin yung commercial ng cadbury. la lang, cute eh. ;p


moving on at
{{ 4:56 AM -


Friday, January 06, 2006;
last song syndrome ito.. ewan ko kung ito talaga ang feel ko ngayon.. pero lately ko lang na-realize na maganda pla siya..
Stick Wit U
Ohhh.. Oh Oh.. I don't wanna go another day
So I'm telling you, exactly what is on my mind
Seems like everybody is breaking up
And throwing their love away
But I know I got a good thing right here
That's why I say (Hey)
Nobody gonna love me better, I must stick wit u forever
Nobody gonna take me higher, I must stick wit u
You know how to appreciate me, I must stick wit u, my baby
Nobody ever made me feel this way, I must stick wit u
I don't wanna go another day
So I'm telling you, exactly what is on my mind
See the way we ride, in our private lives
Ain't nobody gettin' in between
I want you to know that, you're the only one for me (one for me)
(What I'm sayin' is)
Nobody gonna love me better, I must stick wit u forever
Nobody gonna take me higher, I must stick wit u
You know how to appreciate me, I must stick wit u, my baby
Nobody ever made me feel this way, I must stick wit u
And now, ain't nothing else I can need
And now, I'm singing 'cause you're so, so into me
I got you, we'll be making love endlessly I'm with you (baby I'm with you)
Baby you're with me (baby you're with me, higher)
So don't cha worry about
People hanging around
They ain't bringing us down
I know you, and you know me
And that's all that counts
So don't cha worry about
People hanging around
They ain't bringing us down
I know you, and you know me
And that's, that's why I say (Hey)
Nobody gonna love me better, I must stick wit u forever
Nobody gonna take me higher, I must stick wit u (come on)
You know how to appreciate me, I must stick wit u, my baby
Nobody ever made me feel this way, I must stick wit u
Nobody gonna love me better, I must stick wit u forever
Nobody gonna take me higher, I must stick wit u
You know how to appreciate me, I must stick wit u, my baby
Nobody ever made me feel this way, I must stick wit u
**ano ba talaga?**


moving on at
{{ 11:22 PM -


;
naalala ko na pala yung favorite part ko dun sa blue moon. nakalimutan ko kasi kahapon kaya hindi ko na-post.
may part kasi dun na pinuntahan ni manuel si corazon[yung si jennylyn]. tapos may sira yung roof something. tapos nag-volunteer siya na ayusin pero ayaw ni corazon kasi bisita daw siya dun. tapos ayun. parang sinabi yata niya na love niya si corazon. basta parang ganun. pero sabi ni corazon, alam naman daw nila pareho kung sino yung love talaga ni manuel[yung isang corazon, si pauleen]. tapos sabi niya aayusin niya ang lahat. eh di ayun na. kinasal na sila. tapos after nung wedding effect scene, pinakita yung inaayos na ni manuel ung bubong. tapos after some time, drama mode si corazon. isang gabi na umuulan, lumabas siya sa kwarto nila. pag labas niya, may sira na naman yung bubong so naglagay na naman siya ng something na sasalo nung raindrops. ayun. tapos sabi niya, "sabi mo aayusin mo ang lahat". ayun, natuwa ako. ang galing nung connection. literal at hindi at the same time. ang galing.
hindi na ako depressed o the highest level. slight na lang. hindi dapat malungkot, bad yun. at sa kaiisip ko, sumakit na yung ulo ko. pero okie lang kasi nalinawagan naman ako. at na-realize kong tama si lao. kahit sa simula naguguluhan ka, alam mo naman talaga kung ano yung sagot eh. masaya na ako kahit papano. =)
pero hindi ko pa rin papalitan 'to. brutal pa rin. ;p


moving on at
{{ 9:56 PM -


;
suicidal pa rin.. depression ito.. pero hindi na to the highest level.. high level na lang.. haayy..
natuwa naman ako dahil kahit papano ay napasaya ako ng araw na ito.. yung mga joke effect nila kaninang umaga.. yung cabbage, fox at goat ni mark.. yung iq test effect ni joselle.. yung "attitude is 100%" ni jonas.. yung ten horses ni ray.. yung suicidal kingdom at fake coins ni rickey.. yung pagka-brutal ko daw sa mga comment ko kay jonas.. suicidal daw talaga.. maghintay na daw ulit ako ng death threat.. hehe.. pero astig pa rin yung maze ni joselle.. wahaha.. kaya lang ni-lock yund daan papunta sa kutsilyo.. napunta siya dun sa.. haayy.. never mind na lang pala..
nanood kami ng blue moon.. karen, arvi, miguel, leslie.. si janine at mikhail din pala.. pwede na rin.. di ganun ka-ganda kasi feeling ko hindi likely.. pwede ba namang yung true love eh yung parang panakip-butas lang nung simula? i don't think so.. natuwa lang ako dun sa idea na nagkita pa rin sila after ilang years.. kaya lang ang weird, di naman siya ganun ka-love nung guy nung start pero nung nagkita sila ulit, parang love na love na niya.. true love only happens once in a blue moon.. nakakafrustrate ang mga happy endings ng love stories.. haayy..
sabi ni karen, mukhang hindi daw love ang nafi-feel ko.. kasi ang love dapat nagpapasaya sa'yo.. so bakit depressed ako? tama nga siguro.. pero wala akong magawa.. sabi pa niya, bawat second na lumipas, importante.. uhm.. so ilang seconds meron sa two months? di ka ba naman mabaliw nun? tagal di ba? haayy talaga..
hindi naman ako marunong magbasa ng utak ng mga tao eh.. mahirap ba intindihin yun? hindi ako manghuhula.. hindi ko na pipiliting intindihin ang mga hindi ko talaga kaya intindihin.. nauubos naman ang pasensya di ba? pwede sumuko pag hindi na kaya..
ang drama noh? pero blog ko 'to.. kaya walang magulo.. ;p
para happy naman.. happy birthday, ray! =)
lagot.. binalik na ni leslie yung scissors ko.. pero wala yatang silbi yun.. bili niyo naman akong purple na cutter..


moving on at
{{ 4:47 AM -


Thursday, January 05, 2006;
hindi niyo naman maiintindihan kahit sabihin ko eh.. hindi ko rin alam kung paano ipapaliwanag.. eh kung may nangyayari kaya? kahit ano.. para lang malaman ko kung ano dapat gawin? hindi ko na talaga alam.. kasi.. ang gulo.. waahh.. ayoko na.. utak ba ang dapat sinusunod? wala na..


moving on at
{{ 5:44 AM -


;
sorry.. suicidal ako ngayon.. wala sa sarili.. ='(


moving on at
{{ 5:21 AM -


Monday, January 02, 2006;
nakalimutan ko pala i-share yesterday...
after 10 years, nakausap ko ulit si lao. pinakamataga na usap yata namin yun so far, 4 or 5 hours yata. basta, ang tagal. so ayun, kwento naman ako sa mga nangyari. kwento rin siya. naiyak ako sa sinabi niya. at feeling niya siguro "bigger" brother ko siya. [hehe, joke lang!] kasi naman, na-confirm ko sa kanya yung feeling ko. eh siguro, kung may mga taong naiintindihan yung takbo ng utak ko, isa siya sa mga taong yun[flattened naman!]. parang ang tagal na kasi niya akong kilala, alam nga niya pag nagsisinungaling ako eh. [yung pag di ko sinasabi kung ano talaga yung feel ko.] so ayun. na-confirm ko na nga. at nakakainis yung thought na naisip kong baka nga tama siya, ayoko lang aminin. [hala, hindi niya pwede mabasa 'to!] plus the fact na guy siya, tama nga siguro siya. may sinabi pa siyang "yan yung mga pamatay, esther eh!". something like that. comment niya yun nung nagkwento ako ng isang bagay na ginawa ko. feeling ko okie lang sa kanya. bakit ganun, ang weird. parang mas natuwa pa siya dun. tsk, tsk, tsk. so na-realize kong mali na yung ginagawa ko. feeling ko mali. bad. hindi pwede. ang sama talaga. kaya ngayon, iwasan na. oh, no.. bakit ngayon pa? akala ko lilipas, pero bakit parang ang tagal? nakakainis tuloy. ayoko na nga magsalita. obvious na yata kung ano yung sinasabi ko.
tama na. tapos na yun.
birthday ni dad kahapon. kumain kami ng dinner sa craving's sa metrowalk. kainis, walang roast beef. fave ko pa naman yun. haayy.. buti na lang natuwa ako sa dessert-sansrival. kakatuwa, ang daming nuts. ;p
kaya lang di ako nakanood ng only you. ang saklap. pero okie lang. ;p
ano kayang mangyayari bukas sa school pag pasok ko? hala..
ayan, tama na. oras na para gawin ko yung mga dapat kong gawin. by that, i mean, tapusin na yung mga sinimulan ko. kasi naman, paunti-unti. mamaya dito, tapos lipat doon. hindi kaya ganun din yung ginagawa ko sa reality? ay, tama na talaga. oras na para i-organize ang sarili. alisin na sa utak ang mga di muna dapat iniisip sa ngayon. haayy..
current worry: ang dami kong falling hair. lagot talaga. masisira ang career. hehe..
last song syndrome: don't love you no more(i'm sorry) ni craig david. lss lang yan huh, hindi theme song ng buhay ko. waiting in vain pa rin ang drama ko. haayy..
do you get the feeling na ang gulo-gulo ng utak ko ngayon? ang sabog ko.


moving on at
{{ 6:11 PM -


;

the following is an excerpt from an article by andrew benedict sy ["my 24 red candles"]. nabasa ko sa inquirer. natuwa ako, sana matuwa rin kayo. and dami niyong mapupulot dyan. ü

"Since it seemed unfair that a one-year-old would have the same number of wishes as me, I decided to make as many wishes as there were candles on my imaginary birthday cake.

  1. I wish we would stop complaining about the things we don't have and start being thankful for the things we have.
  2. I wish cotton-candy clouds, fairies, elves and fanciful unicorns existed in the hearts of those whose candles far exceed mine in number.
  3. I wish people had two voices, so that not only the mind could be heard, but the heart as well.
  4. I wish we would stop wearing masks to hide our imperfections. Our weaknesses remind us that we are human, and conquering them defines who we are.
  5. I wish people would stop dwelling on the 'what' and try to understand the 'why' of things.
  6. I wish I wouldn't see another 'gentleman' offer his seat to a pretty young lady standing at the opposite end of the LRT coach instead of to the slightly overweight single mom standing in front of him.
  7. I wish I could refrain from laughing at other people, but instead laugh with them.
  8. I wish people would smile when they are really happy and cry when they are sad, instead of doing the opposite.
  9. I wish everyone would learn to enjoy more of the things life has to offer.
  10. I wish for a pill that cures indifference, the epidemic that hits countries besieged by problems.
  11. I wish people would stop using religion and faith as an excuse to be lazy and remain unproductive, bearing so many children who will do their work for them.
  12. I wish we stop blaming the politicians for all our current predicament but instead look a little closer to home.. Who voted these politicians to power anyway?
  13. I wish people would stop treating memories, morals, responsibilites, virtues, and philosophies like trendy clothes-something to put on when they're still 'in' and discard when they're no longer fashionable.
  14. I wish for the most sought-after wish of all: more wishes. (Hey, I felt I needed to try.)
  15. I wish for a world free from the gigantic walls we built around ourselves, the walls of sexism, racism and other isms.
  16. I wish for money, since financial freedom means more time to pursue passions and dreams.
  17. I wish I won't see another soul cry again just beacause a person dear to him/her forgot how we are all connected. People are like pebbles in a lake-when you move, youe send out ripples that are felt by others, specially the ones closest to you.
  18. I wish men would act like men instead of animals. As the old Filipino saying goes: 'Madaling maging tao, mahirap magpakatao.'
  19. I wish I could get back all the days, hours and minutes I have wasted on useless things.
  20. I wish people would find the strength to help themselves before asking help from others.
  21. I wish I would spend time doing things than dreaming them.
  22. I wish for a magical machine that transforms useless things to valuable ones, like tears to acceptance, regrets to treasured memories, sorrows to epiphanies and hate to unconditional forgiveness.
  23. I wish for a cell phone that beeps each time I take soemthing for granted, to remind me of the things that are truly important. It should also have an unlimited memory, so that I would never have to delete another 'Thank you', 'How are you?' and 'Take care.'
  24. I wish I could fly, leap into tall buildings, shoot lasers from my eyes and have the strength of a thousand men, without having to wear that blue spandez suit and crimson underwear. (That's just me exercising wish no. 9.)"

so ayun. sana may napulot nga kayo. something to think about dahil new year naman.. hehe.. ;p



moving on at
{{ 4:53 PM -


;
Your Heart Is Pink

In relationships, you like to play innocent - even though you aren't.
Each time you fall in love, it's like falling for the first time.

Your flirting style: Coy

Your lucky first date: Picnic in the park

Your dream lover: Is both caring and dominant

What you bring to relationships: Romance
What Color Heart Do You Have?


sana purple na lang.. or violet.. or lilac.. or lavender.. hehe..


moving on at
{{ 2:32 AM -






hello

salamat sa pag daan mo..
dahil nandito ka na rin naman, tag ka na..
salamat.. :)



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